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'I was hooked when I was 12': How a high-flying beauty editor picked drugs over her careerBy Daily Mail ReporterPublished: 23:59 BST, 7 September 2012 | Updated: 00:05 BST, 8 September 2012e-mail
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A former high-flying beauty editor has told how she picked drugs over her career.Former Condé Nast employee Cat Marnell, 29, said that she first got hooked on prescription pills aged 12, when her parents gave her sleeping aid and Addreall, a stimulant used to treat ADHD.
For years she managed to keep her addiction under wraps, finding success as a journalist in New York, but eventually her problems began to take their toll shattering personal and professional relationships.
Tell-all: Cat Marnell, a former xoJane.com beauty editor who has been in and out of rehab for her addiction to prescription drugs, has landed a $500,000 book deal for her memoir, How to Murder Your Life
Describing how her substance abuse started Ms Marnell,who grew up in a wealthy neighborhood in Maryland, told Page Six Magazine: 'My dad prescribed me Adderall and gave me my first sleeping pill when I was 12. Adderall is the devil. It ruined my life.'
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Following an abortion she received benzodiazepine and Xanax and shortly after she became a 'doctor shopper' visiting numerous pharmacies and taking up to nine pills a day.
After severing all ties with her family, Ms Marnell now lives in New York in an apartment papered with 'druggy' muses such as Kate Moss and Amy Winehouse, and she spends most of her time high on illegal substances such as cocaine, pot and pills.
Former beauty editor: Cat Marnell was fired from xoJane.com in September last year - telling the New York Post she¿d rather 'smoke angel dust with her friends' than hold down a full-time job
On a high? Ms Marnell says that she does have the desire to change and stop but she's not ready yetOn a typical night out she relies on a dangerous cocktail of Vyvanse, Adderall, Provigil, Gatorade and vodka to keep going until the early hours.
Ms Marnell previously worked at Condé Nast as a beauty editor, first at Glamour and then at Lucky, but in the end the company was forced to send her to rehab as her drug problems surfaced.
Most recently she was employed by women's website xojane.com but she was fired this summer because she refused to seek help.
'I don't want to die and I'm not a heroin addict... I do have a desire to change and stop; I would really love not to be on pills. I just don't know if the AA thing is what I want right now. I get very bored by it. I'm just not ready for it yet,' she added.
'I choose drugs over sex and always have.. I have tons of friends, but the subtext of those relationships is, well, they're sort of like party people
Two weeks after being unemployed she was picked up by Vice Magazine, who offered her the opportunity to keep an uncensored blog of her drug-addled life called 'Amphetamine Logic'.
In a controversial twist Ms Marnell now gets paid to party, take drugs and write about it. But editor-in-chief of the magazine, Rocco Castoro, says that he isn't encouraging Cat to live an unhealthy lifestyle, and hopes her accounts will educate others.
He told Page Six Magazine: 'We don't glorify it; we're just honest about it. Anyone who knows someone who uses drugs knows: You can't tell them to stop. From the beginning, I told her, 'I'm not going to be your parent.'
As well as being open about her drug problems, Ms Marnell, who is a slender 98 pounds is also a self-confessed bulimic, an issue she blames on her mother.
According to the blogger, she receives no money from her family and is not in contact with them. She also lives alone as she can't hold down relationships and she claims that, as well as her career, 'I choose drugs over sex and always have.'
She adds: 'I'm not a happy person. I'm a narcissist, but I hate myself. I have tons of friends, but the subtext of those relationships is, well, they're sort of like party people... You go where the drugs are.'
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